The past few days have been spent with my mother in Portland, Oregon. We had a really lovely stay and spent lots of time being ridiculously silly! I will update with a few pictures later. I'm a little sad now as I sit in the airport. A lot of things have happened and as well, changed. As much as that is most likely a very good thing, it's also a solemn experience. You never really want to let go of someone that you love but that's life. Something things happen and you can't change how it happened or what went down, so you accept it and you move on. We had a good run, but you can't hold on to something that's died without it poisoning the life that you cherish. As much as you love certain people, sometimes you have to let them go.
Obviously this is not about my mother. The plane is boarding now though, so I'll try to be more responsive later.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Taking a Small Break
So I just finished a rather long essay test for my Art History class and I'm about to prepare for a French exam tomorrow but I really need a break. I'm just going to take a moment to blog about some things I've been thinking about lately.
Being Kind
As simple as it sounds this is quite a concept. To bring it into every aspect of your life. To be kind not only to others, but to yourself. I feel like being kind to others is a great way to be kind to yourself. It helps me to be peaceful. Lately, I've been quite frustrated with the little things and I've let my anger and frustration get the best of me. There are quite a few people who haven't been nice and as much as I've tried to maintain my composure and to fight their anger with my kindness, I succumbed to the anger. I lashed out. I suppose that that is only natural, but I am not a fan of anger. It's upsetting to me that I let these small people get to me. As well, I've let a few pet peeves truly get to my head and since my emotions have been high strung lately, I've really let go of being nice even when I'm frustrated with that person for their quirks and habits. So I'm going to work more on exuding the love and kindness that everyone deserves rather than letting the anger and frustration get to me. Instead I will brush off rude comments, annoying pet peeves and frustration that I feel towards certain people.
Being Healthy
As a college freshman this is a big ticket issue, but as a young woman this has been an issue since puberty. I'm a rather small person, I was born a month early and weighed only 5 pounds (I think there were some ounces but I don't remember) and I've grown to be roughly 5'4." I have always had a somewhat athletic figure (as a kid I got asked if I was a swimmer a lot) and I stayed relatively small until 10th grade, when I moved to California to live with my Mom. I gained a bit of weight because I had been depressed, but at the same time I struggled with my issues with eating. I was constantly on some kind of diet, perusing "pro-ana" sites, fasting and at one point even going so far as to make myself throw up. It was upsetting because I couldn't lose the ten pounds that I had gained since the depression. It was a big struggle and issue for me because I knew that I wasn't treating my body the way that it deserved to be treated, but I didn't want to stop because I was so self-conscious. When I moved back in with my Dad and started to make friends and really enjoy life again, I lost the weight pretty quickly. I stopped truly paying attention to food and I started just enjoying being alive.
Now though, with mounds of stress and homework I've sort of struggle with the issues of my weight again. Of course, I've never really been over weight, I just haven't stayed the same and the fluctuation is what scared me. I'm not going to go back to the extremely unhealthy treatment of my body though, because it's a temple and I have to treat it as such. Instead, I'm working my way back to vegetarianism and slowly transitioning from junk food, which is easily accessible, to healthy alternatives! I need to really get back to healthy alternatives. As well, exercising is truly an important part of being healthy. Often times, I overlook the need to exercise due to my extreme clumsiness but it definitely needs to be a part of my life and my everyday routines. It makes me feel so good and I always just feel really lively when I exercise.
Anyways, that's all for today. I may post later with some truly cute and great etsy finds that I can't resist but my wallet sure can't pay for!
Oh, I can't forget! I got my tickets for next week and I'm so excited! I'm going to Portland, OR to visit my mama and I'm so excited! I haven't seen her since last July and it's been a real bummer! I've missed her a ton and it's going to be really nice to see her. Anyways, I'll talk to you soon!
Being Kind
As simple as it sounds this is quite a concept. To bring it into every aspect of your life. To be kind not only to others, but to yourself. I feel like being kind to others is a great way to be kind to yourself. It helps me to be peaceful. Lately, I've been quite frustrated with the little things and I've let my anger and frustration get the best of me. There are quite a few people who haven't been nice and as much as I've tried to maintain my composure and to fight their anger with my kindness, I succumbed to the anger. I lashed out. I suppose that that is only natural, but I am not a fan of anger. It's upsetting to me that I let these small people get to me. As well, I've let a few pet peeves truly get to my head and since my emotions have been high strung lately, I've really let go of being nice even when I'm frustrated with that person for their quirks and habits. So I'm going to work more on exuding the love and kindness that everyone deserves rather than letting the anger and frustration get to me. Instead I will brush off rude comments, annoying pet peeves and frustration that I feel towards certain people.Being Healthy
As a college freshman this is a big ticket issue, but as a young woman this has been an issue since puberty. I'm a rather small person, I was born a month early and weighed only 5 pounds (I think there were some ounces but I don't remember) and I've grown to be roughly 5'4." I have always had a somewhat athletic figure (as a kid I got asked if I was a swimmer a lot) and I stayed relatively small until 10th grade, when I moved to California to live with my Mom. I gained a bit of weight because I had been depressed, but at the same time I struggled with my issues with eating. I was constantly on some kind of diet, perusing "pro-ana" sites, fasting and at one point even going so far as to make myself throw up. It was upsetting because I couldn't lose the ten pounds that I had gained since the depression. It was a big struggle and issue for me because I knew that I wasn't treating my body the way that it deserved to be treated, but I didn't want to stop because I was so self-conscious. When I moved back in with my Dad and started to make friends and really enjoy life again, I lost the weight pretty quickly. I stopped truly paying attention to food and I started just enjoying being alive. Now though, with mounds of stress and homework I've sort of struggle with the issues of my weight again. Of course, I've never really been over weight, I just haven't stayed the same and the fluctuation is what scared me. I'm not going to go back to the extremely unhealthy treatment of my body though, because it's a temple and I have to treat it as such. Instead, I'm working my way back to vegetarianism and slowly transitioning from junk food, which is easily accessible, to healthy alternatives! I need to really get back to healthy alternatives. As well, exercising is truly an important part of being healthy. Often times, I overlook the need to exercise due to my extreme clumsiness but it definitely needs to be a part of my life and my everyday routines. It makes me feel so good and I always just feel really lively when I exercise.
Anyways, that's all for today. I may post later with some truly cute and great etsy finds that I can't resist but my wallet sure can't pay for!
Oh, I can't forget! I got my tickets for next week and I'm so excited! I'm going to Portland, OR to visit my mama and I'm so excited! I haven't seen her since last July and it's been a real bummer! I've missed her a ton and it's going to be really nice to see her. Anyways, I'll talk to you soon!
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
When I can't sleep, I edit
Even if I have a paper that is due in two days and loads of tests/quizzes to study for. Editing pictures soothes my mind. One of these weeks when I don't have homework I think I'm going to give up my computer for a few weeks, haha. Anyways, on the photo shoot this past Sunday we came across this lovely little patch of graffiti. Even if it is spelled a little wrong. I thought it was a total win and had Kandice (a lovely client) snap a picture of me. I'm impeccably cheesy, but so excited. If you're interested, I'm currently listening to this and it's pretty darn brilliant.
I Started This Over
This blog has been around since early March 2010, but I recently felt that it wasn't going the direction that I truly wanted it to go. By this I simply mean that my posts had become lackluster, depressing, whiny and overall lame. So out with the old and in with the new. I may regret that later, but for now, who cares? Certainly not me.
2011 has already been a hectic ride for me. I'm currently enrolled full time and plan on double majoring in art and art history. I have no idea what exactly I want to do with the degree, but I've been playing with the idea of becoming a tattoo artist for quite a few months. Tattoos hold a special place in my heart and while I never imagined myself getting tattoos during my early high school days, I've become quite the fan as I've grown. Anyways, this blog will be documenting the next few years and where life takes me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Kayla's the name and illogical thinking is my game. Currently I'm putting off studying for a French exam, writing an essay and reading a book that I have to do a report on, because I like to push myself to the very last minute. I'm probably going to jump from subject to subject in these next few posts.
January: New year, new adventures. I got a bit down for a while. Old friends became people I no longer associated with. I went on silly adventures with new friends, we drove for hours in the dark just trying to escape. It snowed a lot and I complained about being cold a lot. Michael and I fought a lot because we are human. Lynsey and I became really great friends and I'm thankful and I moved back home which was a bummer.
February: Valentines day was silly. Lynsey and I had adventures. I had some misadventures. Created a new tumblr blog because certain people were rude. Stopped talking to certain people. Ignored hatred.
March: Stupid. Stupid stress. M and I were great. Spring break. Chaperoned middle schoolers. Cut out certain things that were unnecessary in my life. Completely happy.
April: Stressed, but contented and happy for now. Take It and Run had a really great show (that's my boyfriend's band! Check them out!)! One paid photoshoot with promises of more! Homework galore that comes along with the end of term.
I really can't remember anything super dee duper important. Isn't that sad? I've had a good year though. Soon I'll be visiting Portland to see my Momma. I may be getting a new tattoo. I also got the news that I will be a camp counselor this summer!
2011 has already been a hectic ride for me. I'm currently enrolled full time and plan on double majoring in art and art history. I have no idea what exactly I want to do with the degree, but I've been playing with the idea of becoming a tattoo artist for quite a few months. Tattoos hold a special place in my heart and while I never imagined myself getting tattoos during my early high school days, I've become quite the fan as I've grown. Anyways, this blog will be documenting the next few years and where life takes me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Kayla's the name and illogical thinking is my game. Currently I'm putting off studying for a French exam, writing an essay and reading a book that I have to do a report on, because I like to push myself to the very last minute. I'm probably going to jump from subject to subject in these next few posts.
January: New year, new adventures. I got a bit down for a while. Old friends became people I no longer associated with. I went on silly adventures with new friends, we drove for hours in the dark just trying to escape. It snowed a lot and I complained about being cold a lot. Michael and I fought a lot because we are human. Lynsey and I became really great friends and I'm thankful and I moved back home which was a bummer.
February: Valentines day was silly. Lynsey and I had adventures. I had some misadventures. Created a new tumblr blog because certain people were rude. Stopped talking to certain people. Ignored hatred.
March: Stupid. Stupid stress. M and I were great. Spring break. Chaperoned middle schoolers. Cut out certain things that were unnecessary in my life. Completely happy.
April: Stressed, but contented and happy for now. Take It and Run had a really great show (that's my boyfriend's band! Check them out!)! One paid photoshoot with promises of more! Homework galore that comes along with the end of term.
I really can't remember anything super dee duper important. Isn't that sad? I've had a good year though. Soon I'll be visiting Portland to see my Momma. I may be getting a new tattoo. I also got the news that I will be a camp counselor this summer!
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